Esther Perel: Sexual Desire and Successful Relationships

Yes, we are talking about relationships again on  The School of Greatness.Partly because I love learning as much as possible about how to create and maintain healthy, amazing relationships (and I need a lot of coaching in my love life).But partly because I heard today's guest speak at Summit at Sea in November and I knew I had to have her on the podcast.Esther Perel is a world-renowned relationship therapist, bestselling author, and sought-after speaker who has focused her career on exploring the role of sex and eroticism in making and breaking intimate relationships.She has an incredible world-view of relationships in many different cultures, which has allowed her to see what works and what doesn't on a bigger level.I asked her a ton of questions in our interview and she had answers.You may already have set ideas about what intimate relationships should look like, but I know you'll get some new perspective from listening to this interview.Get ready to get vulnerable with yourself as you take a look at your relationships in Episode 285 with Esther Perel.Some questions I ask:How does your anxiety and dread for things work for or against you?Why did you write this book about sexuality?What are the core reasons you see that end relationships?How does your work support or not support your relationship with your husband?What's the ideal relationship in the modern world?How do you know when it's the person you can make a life with?In This Episode, You Will Learn:Why Esther was inspired in her work by the Clinton sex scandalThe cultural differences in how adultery is viewed around the worldThe effects in the U.S. of how sex education is presentedIndifference, contempt, neglect, and violence are the main issues in any intimate relationshipWhy people often treat their partner worse than anyone else"A friend is someone who will always do more for others than for themselves."The impact our parents have on our relationship skills (this is big)Women get bored with monogamy sooner than men (because the romance usually dies after marriage)A better question than "What turns me off" is "When I turn myself off is"Why investing in being your best self and pursuing what lights you up keeps you interested in a monogamous relationshipThe relationship between emotional risk and desireWe now expect our partner to be a whole village for us since we live much more private livesThe 4 Pillars of Modern Relationships: Trust, Affection, Intimacy, DesireThe idea that your marriage can have different phases (like a new marriage each time) with the same personThe value of yearly check-ins with your partner (not when a crisis is happening) to see what's going onWhy it's important to separate the idea of failure from divorceThe Millenial generation are the children of the divorced and disillusionedThe influx of couples who are married but live apart aka LAT couples (more common in the older generation)What originally attracts you to someone is often what eventually drives you crazy about themPlus much more...